| sometimes when you dont post for a long time, you dont even know what to write anymore...or where to start. how about in sequential order of how many hours i spend doing what.
WORK. i spend a lot of time there. the people are great, which is one thing that is making this easier. not that i havent thought about this before, but working a little makes me realize just how important it is to be doing something that you really really want to be doing. and there are two things inherent in that--knowing what you want to be doing, and having either the courage or the passion to be able to pursue that. i dont know that i have either right now. maybe school forged a sense of complacency--16 years of nothing but learning, of your full time job being self enrichment, and you get spoiled, take it for granted that your time will always be yours, that the world is just like another campus, and everything is like a class--if you dont like it, you walk out, drop it and pick something else. that everything you do comes in units of 3 months, not 3 years to 5 years to forever. work is different. i havent completely figured out by how much yet, but it's a work in progress...
FRIENDS. good ones come few and far in between. they're there for you, know you inside out, understand the nuances of your personality and emotions. on days where you feel like crap, they pick you up with a phone call, an email, a knock on the door, a text message, a good laugh, and most of all, a much needed reality check.
FAMILY. it's great having them close, but at the same time, interactions are such learning experiences...your patience is tested because you take them for granted that they'll always be there for you, no matter how you react. they hear you bitch and moan about anything and everything, see the most selfish side of you, and take it in stride only so the next day, you can wake up and know that they're still there for you. the most mentally unstressful experience ever--to sit on my barstool in my mom's kitchen and watch as she wipes down countertops, tell her about trying to decorate my room in college, what kind of votive candles i want at my wedding, who makes me tense, the sale next weekend, how you burn more calories if you ran first and then lifted weights. i never fail to marvel at how brilliant my dad is and how good he is at being brilliant at all the right times.
RELATIONSHIPS. im sure the right one will come along. just hope that i realize it when it does.
SLEEP. i want some. |
it has a maturity of 20 years for a face value of $50 bucks, which means it's worth like 7 cents today. great.